why is it so hard to accept your own mistakes....when others have their dwon falls some of us are there at their side to help them pick up the pieces some of us are on the side laughing...........but when its actually YOU thats having the issue....why is it so hard for you to accept it and deal with it......

i cant get over a HUGE mistake a made a LONG time ago......i ended something that was really special to me i ended a point in my life when i was actually happy....and for no reason...i just dropped it and moved along because i felt that i should....and iv regreted it since that day...and i wish more and more everyday that i could have things the way they were.....i want to be happy again......and only one person ever made me truly happy......but i hurt themmmmmmand i kill myself on teh inside because i kno i did but i try to ignore it but i kno im hurting too.......but what am i to do.....the person has moved on and has someone to make them happy.....how do you deal with that..........i cant justgo running back saying im sorry lets try again....or can i??????
and i miss them sooooooo much...i saw them recently and even tho i didnt show it...i was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to see and hug them again....and others want us back together as well....but i havent been able to bring myself to even find a way to put the words together to sum up something good enough to win their heart back.........
all i can say...is i screwed my self over....i regret what i did......i still love you.....and i miss you....and im sorry....



this is a song by alice nine that sort of explains how im feeling right abou tnow......and....i think thsi song may have more than one meaning and you can get your own story from it but what i want ppl to notice is that its how my heart is killing me cuz im trying to live this fantasy where that person isnt there...that way maybe it wouldnt hurt as much...but deep down..i kno its still there and i cant ignore it forever.....
so yeah

Alice nine - Fantasy

The constellation of Leo is twinkling again, bestowing this earth with tears

From that day onwards, this back has one sides wing
The day dawns, memories from the stars fade away

Even this sky, even this song, why?
Losing colour, losing sound, theyre not real
Your dream enfolds me, it becomes a star that goes on resonating

The starry sky is twinkling again, this earth is exalted with tears
The galloping time gives out light, this world without you is fantasy

Because of you, my heart is hurting

The splinters are still lodged there

Even this flower, even that bird, even the wind, even the moon; it stops time

Even if I close my eyes and make-believe, its no use
You turned into ash, became so small
I dont understand, has this world gone mad? Peacefully, aaah

The starry sky is twinkling again, this earth is exalted with tears
The galloping time gives out light, this world without you is fantasy

How much time will pass, because the stars are falling
So here, thrumming, the affections you had given me are forever

From that day onwards, this back has lost one sides wing